From a perspective of an immigrant parent of an America born Chinese kid, reading the masterfully written Paper Daughter is a wake-up call. You see this talented little kid everybody loved back in Hong Kong struggled to fit in the life in America. Her parents worked like slave in restaurant, earned very little and spoke very little English. And they offered little help to little Elaine, as they themselves struggled to adjust life there too. This book offers an insight into the pain and struggle of an immigrant kid growing up in classed America.
The appearance: The author was born on Oct. 1st, 1966 in Hong Kong. She graduated from Harvard University in 1988.
The perception: Many Chinese parents would think the author's parents are a success. Having an Ivy league trained kid means a lot in Chinese culture. The facts: The author's father immigrated to US in 1969 with the help of his sister (who supposedly is a US citizen), and the author and her mother followed him in 1971. When in US, both parents worked in a restaurant kitchen. They don't speak English, and they made $18000 combined per year in 1980 (not sure about the poverty line then, but I would think they were very close to it). With low social economic status and compounded by the author's own language barrier in early years in the US, the author struggled to find her identity growing up. And from the book, it seems the scar never heals.
The problem: Usually Chinese kids tend to focus on building up their IQ in their education, but not much attention has been put on EQ (Emotional Intelligence). The fact that the author can get into Harvard from the low-education, low-income family she grew up from says a lot about her high IQ. Yet even with the success she had in the academics, she still sheds a more negative light on her childhood. Glass is half empty here. Contrast to another book Big Russ and Me by Tim Russert, who also grew up in a family where parents are low-educated and medium-income(Russert's father is a city employee in upper New York city of Buffalo). In Russert's book, he painted a brighter picture of his mother and father, even though in reality his father and mother divorced. Glass is half full there.
Chinese parents tend to pay a lot more attention to kid's IQ development, and the high percentage of Chinese kids in IVY league school attest to this effort. But life, no matter how smart you are, is not a fair game. Things you deserve may not come to you and you have to take it and move on. How we Chinese parents better develop our kid's EQ while maintain our investment in IQ is going to be question we have to answer as the kid grows.
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